Monday, April 25, 2011

The Great Flood and Moving


The driveway next to my mailbox. Idiots were driving through this.

My place looks like a tornado hit. Fortunately, the tornado missed my apartment last Friday. I did see a funnel cloud. It was so cool. I not only stayed outside for the entire tornado warning, I took my dinner outside and ate while I watched. Now the entire hour is drowning. They are saying this is the worst rain since 2004. My apartment complex has very high water in the parking lot and it looks like something backed up because there is trash everywhere.

Alas I digress, again. I am going CRAZY. I have too much to do, and not enough time to do it. I need to go through boxes, shred old documents, separate packing from non-packing. Pull out enough clothes to wear for a week - work and play clothes. I have no guarantee my furniture will get to me in time to start my new job. I may buy a love seat sleeper for my office just so I have a place to sleep. Not that my friends would let me sleep on the floor. I think. I have made an appointment to get my hair colored before I start the new job. I have a date with my friend to watch "The King's Speech" on Friday night, and my first running date on my move it day. I'm told I do not have to run. Not that I could. I'm considering training to run a half marathon, so something like that. Another lifestyle change. Since Cappi & I will be in the same neighborhood, we will keep each other motivated. I hope.

This is kind of random tonight. I am exhausted. The pace is beginning to wear on me. I can't even gush about the things I'm really excited about because my happy will make someone else sad. Someone left a note for me today, and all I wanted to say was hire him, hire him. He's awesome and nice. However I have no say, and I have to let it go. I've led them to water, now they have to figure out how to function without me. It will take everything in me not to call Brad and remind him to do something.

I really wish it would quit raining. I have people who want my furniture, but can't get to it because of the rain. If the furniture is gone, maybe I can separate out the stuff that shouldn't be packed. As it is, the record breaking rain is getting on my nerves.

Good night!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

My New Home

So after two months of agonizing about it, hours of searches and a day and half looking at apartment after apartment, I have found a new home.

It is unlike any place I have ever lived. It has stained concrete floors, stainless steel appliances, industrialized light fixtures and very unique bathrooms. I actually have two...count them...two linen closets. The apartment is 1199 square feet and includes reserved covered parking spaces. It literally looks like a box on the outside. No glamour, no shine, but on the inside it is "wow". It is only 15 miles from work and about a mile down the road from my friend Cappi.  It's not as close to my lil' sis' location, but she is moving anyway. My sponsor came to save the day by telling me they work early in the morning, long days and so they can have short Fridays and maybe every other Friday off. I can deal with that.  I can really deal with it.
  
The last few days I've have been all over the place. Inside 410, outside 1604, north central, Alamo Heights, northwest and the northwest side. For the record, I will be living on the northwest side. Now I just have to complete all my prep and schedule the move. We took pictures of the model so I'm including them here today. The only different is the model has carpet, mine doesn't.

I am very exhaused, but I had a good time this weekend. I went out and had a lot of shots. Only because it was my birthday. Lots of people purchased shots for us in honor of my birthday. This one cute boy asked for my number. Boy being the key word. There was miltary everywhere. A majority of my neighbors also work at Lackland AFB. I got to know the area I will be living very soon. Here is to good friends, fun times and hopefully a date or two in my near future. Arkansas has not been good to me in that regard. I can't wait. But for now, I must sleep so goodnight to anyone who cares.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Dieting and New Clothes part II

From my photo shoot with Prase
Photography - one of my new outfits.
New clothes. Oh, how I love new clothes. Who doesn't? Well to tell you the truth, last year I came to hate clothes in general. Nothing is worse than not being able to fit into much of the clothes you own except t-shirts and pajama bottoms. I had to get new slacks, new shirts, and to my absolute horror, I had to purchase XXL clothes. I was so embarrased, and let's face it...I looked like crap.I can't even explain how I let it happen. How did I let myself get so big?

Alas, I digress. Clothes. I do love clothes. I've always loved them. I love buying something that rocks. I do want to look good. In 2000, I had two surgeries that led to my diagnosis with endometriosis. I was also on meds that made me gain weight. I was teaching at the time and one of my students who knew me before asked me a question. She said, "Why are you dressed like that Miss Cathey? You used to dress cute and now you dress old." Then a friend told me his sister was wondering why I was dressing like an old lady. At the time I was swollen from surgery, my clothes didn't fit and I was always cold so I wore a sweater everyday. I also gained 30 pounds during recovery because I felt better, started eating again, and was taking a drug which promoted weight gain. It really sucked. So what do I do, but gain more. 2000 and 2010 were my worst weight gain years.

Now I will let all of that go. I just gave away a lot of clothes. Many different sizes. First I gave about eight bags of clothes to Helping Hands. Then I started going down sizes. Fourteen didn't last very long. Last week I gave all my suits, a bunch of my dresses, all the shirts I bought last year and other things. I bought size 14 pants for very cheap. They fell off of me a few weeks later. A friend told me size 16 was the hardest size to get through and she was right. Now, just two months later I am in 10s and 12s. I basically have to replace my entire wardrobe from the inside out. Moving to Texas, I would probably need to replace them anyway because it is hotter there. Much hotter.

In conclusion, it is freaking expensive to replace a wardrobe. I've been shopping sales racks and consignment shops. I'm desperate. I really hope to buy some stuff in San Antonio this weekend to save money on sales tax. It is a sad pathetic thing, but oh how I am loving it.

Until next time -- Laura

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Dieting and New Clothes

I haven't talked about my diet much on this blog yet, but here goes. I am coming to the end of my diet. I have basically been on a liquid diet for almost six months. Yes, a liquid diet. I have also been under the care of a doctor with weekly check-ins and classes to help teach me better eating habits and behaviors. It has been hard, but 80 pounds later (give or take a few), it was so worth it.

I have lost lots of inches. I went from a size 18 last summer, to a size 10/12 at present. I've had three sizes of pants literally fall off of me. I have literally worked my ass off, excuse the pun. Up until my surgery I was taking Pilates and zumba as well as lifting weights and spending time on the elliptical. Not everyday, but I was hitting the gym four days a week. Expending that much energy is not easy on 600 to 800 calories a day. The hard part is now. Now I'm adapting back to a regular diet.

Eating food again after six months is very hard. Eating healthy is even harder. I won't say I am perfect. No way, no how. Pam has this need to feed us at rehearsals, so I've had rice, mashed potatoes, pretzels and lots of sangria over at the Marks' house. I've had a few margaritas the last two months and even some chocolate. Mostly I've had lots of protein, carrots, salads w/ vinegar dressing, cucumbers and other veggies. I'm still eating my shakes in the morning and I'm taking lots of vitamins. I'm supposed to add a 100 calories to my diet each week until I'm back to a normal calorie intake. So more and more food each week. I'm at about 1,200 calories now. I will try to stay at until 1,500 a day until after the move because of my other problem...

The thing is I can't do much more than walk for the next month or so. I have to take it easy. Only the elliptical is ok if I take it slow. It is driving me crazy. I guess that is why I started this blog. I need to do something besides watch TV. I have gained back two pounds the last two weeks. This is normal for this time in my diet.  I did go get my resting metabolic rate tested yesterday. It seems I can burn 1,900 calories a day without exercise. With exercise, I can add another 600 calories a day. Since the dietitian originally told we to keep it at 1,600 calories to maintain, I was very excited at the results. Woohoo. I also told the dietitian yesterday that I was not giving up alcohol. After five months without alcohol, I'm glad to finally be able to have a glass of wine with dinner. I have never drank much, but I do like it on occasion.

I'm a little long winded so my next entry will talk about my wardrobe problem. How to replace everything on a budget.

Tonight I leave you with a "To be continued..."

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I know I'm a pain...

I'm difficult. I'm demanding. I'm infuriating.
I question. I ponder. I speak my mind (most of the time at least).
I lose my temper.
I challenge the status quo.
I'm a perfectionist and a procrastinator.
I'm messy and disorganized.
I'm anal about rules and procedures.
I'm negative.
The glass is half empty except when it's half full.
I'm a know it all, yet I know nothing at all.
I'm competitive. I'm unforgiving.
I'm forgetful, yet I forget nothing.
I interrupt people.
I argue with the best of the best and can be very persuasive, for the good, the bad and the ugly.
I know I'm a pain in the ass.
I'm aware, even if I can't control some of my tendancies.
Thank you to those who love me and put up with me anyway. 

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Independence

If you know me, you know I'm single. If you know me really well, you probably know why. I never wanted to be single. I wanted a family and a husband just like most people do. I was even engaged, briefly. Sadly it didn't work out, and so here I am...A single, independent woman who can take care of herself. Mostly.

The truth is I have trust issues. I'm not exactly proud of this. I also have too much pride to bend and ask for help when I need it. I hate relying on others to do what I can usually do myself. My biggest fear when I found out I needed to have surgery was doing it alone. Six weeks down without being able to lift much of anything is terrible. I do have trust issues, and I didn't trust that all of the people who said they would help would help. Heck when I first mentioned my surgery I got a "I can't waste my vacation time on you" and "Could you have picked a more inconvienent time?" My optimistic friends keep telling me I underestimate people, but do I? Do I really?

My little sis came through for me by flying here to stay with me for the first few days following my hospital stay. Three of my friends saw me through my surgery, hospital stay and the first day home after surgery. They did come a get me for outings the next week, but I only had company four times the second week, and the third week - nothing. My rehearsals were the only thing I really did. I would have gone out of my mind without those. I am grateful for the help that I received post surgery.

Today, after a very embarassing visit from one of the movers, I gave up on help. Forget it, I will do it myself. I always end up doing it myself. Why would someone come help me take out my trash when they can visit with friends, go shopping, or go to a movie? I just divided crap into smaller bags and took multiple trips to my car. I also changed my sheets. It kind of hurt, but I couldn't deal with it anymore. Three weeks is too long, and it never occured to anyone to offer until yesterday. Everyone has their own problems and is too busy. When someone has come, I've gotten them to take out my trash. When I had knee surgery three years ago, and I had to beg people to bring me ice. They put it in my freezer then left. I ended up putting ice in a tuperware dish, putting the dish in bag around my neck, then walking on my crutches to my bedroom to fill up my ice machine, repeat. It took about three trips to fill it up. Someone brought me food at night, but during the day I was on my own. I also carried my food and drink in the bag around my neck. I was on crutches for over a week. Pretty pathetic.

So here I am again, completely on my own. I'm sad to say people have met my expectations once again. Of course, if I asked they'd come, right? Well asking someone to drive 20 miles to take out my trash is out of the question, so once more this indepenent woman is taking care of her own. Once again, this independent woman is in tears crying because someone let her down.